We broke up. I can't believe it still. I didn't think it would be this short. I feel like shit. I love him for God's sake! And Now I miss him like hell. I hate this. Crap. I still can't believe it. i keep on rationalizing, I keep asking what if's and why's. I wish he told me bout the problem earlier, when I still could've done something. he didn't tell me coz he didn't want to hurt me...sweet but fatal...fuck. I told him I'll keep hoping he'd come back and that I'd stop when I know. This is hell. I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna lose weight again...as usual. I miss him sooo much. And i'm gonna miss him more. My mom's having my heart checked up by the doctor, I think I may have a cardio-related disease. I've been crying in the quiet dark since i was born...ironic for my narcissism. Fuck. shit .crap. Gonna talk to chris john after this. wrote a poem that sucks. It's gonna take time til I find whatever I need to find...whatever comes.I'll wait for him til my love fades. i'll do that instead of suppressing whatever I'm feeling, besides I'm not the type who can't do anything during a break-up. I'm just really sad and my heart feels stabbed by a thousand ice daggers. I can't believe it. Saw a falling star when i went up the roof. thought it meant something, so much for that. I miss him. I miss him more than his three weeks at dumaguete.crap. fuck.shit. forgive the profanity but I have to. negative energy all over. Why'd he have to go?Fuck.I dunno if i'm angry sad or hurt. I'm guess I'm all of it. Shit. Chris John is here. Didn't get enough sleep last night. I feel like a villain. I feel like a person in the asylum. I feel like crap.
hope you guys are better.peace out.
