I went up to the roof again last night, for some reason, I get excited getting up there. Well, it was a full moon so that should excite me... I went up there, cried a bit and then my phone shouts.
James has sent me a message. I told him notto call or text until I text him or if he really wants to. I told him, I wasn't giving up on our relationship and that I won't stop waiting and loving him like how we loved each other until he can tell me he doesn't love me anymore like that. I told him I'm waiting for him and that I'm waiting outside, not in the waiting room. He doesn't know I'm ok now coz I'm not giving up yet. I'm not trying to get over james, I'm waiting for him, so I have nothing to grieve about. I'm just waiting. And while waiting, I can do a lot of things. Chris John and I talked, I felt much better. If james can tell me he doesn't love me anymore as a boyfriend then that's the time I'll stop waiting, meanwhile, he can't tell me that, so i'll wait. Sent him the squinting crystals poem, I'm gonna post it again here. anyway, school's fun, I'm starting to connect again with my classmates, joycie made a bad general gay remark about badidi, I wanted to confront him. next time he won't get away with it. It was chai's birthday yesterday, greeted her while chris and i talked. Av came, she knew I wasn't ok...guess our powers are still at work...she knew something was wrong and that she had to see me. I miss james but somehow I know he's coming back sooner or later so I don't miss him like a break-up. I'm giving him his time. But then again, If he doesn't and he tells me, I'll stop waiting like I said.
