Evening blog....this is rare..

so I went out with james...had mcdo and helped him pick pants. His mom and sis were to meet him for dinner. So they did,his mom, as usual, invited me to join them, I didn't want to. I needed dinner but no, this was their thing. Mom was asking me to see her anyway. I would rather go with my mom. I hugged her before I went to school one time, it surprised her. So here I am. I'm supposed to have dinner at brutus, james used to part-own that, but I wanna save some money coz I still need to add nstp to my load. I can't say I feel sad. But it is quiet, and I wanna talk to somebody, sit with somebody, drink my hazelnut milk and he/she'll have his/her coffee. In the end, I am still a solitary man. Like Rilke, I'd be in his cult if he started one,the solitary people. I hate and love my solitude.Teary-eyed almost all of the time. I just wish someone was here. J or James or Larry or Chris or Chai or Liyo or yen or Vera or Bobi or Sandra or Marz and bryan or Av or anyone,...Lonely ang life. I just texted larry that. To my friends who say I'm lucky,no I'm not. Somebody posted a comment, i received it in my mailbox but i can't seem to find here in the blog itself. there are more beautiful gay guys than ugly ones FYI. I really don't have much to talk about. peace and love and company.smile everyone even when I'm not.basta smile mo, maayo man na.