fuck...it's been a while since I typed this word. Opened my mailbox and there it was...hi...from james neish. I smiled. I read it and cried. Now I'm here in a cafe ...kara's behind me and i'm crying. The things I do....GOd...in one minute ...all the pain and hurt surged back to my system...until now, he still forgets, he still doesn't believe me...he thinks I will never grow gyud siguro. peste. peste. peste. Seeing his face...I checked his blog...there were pics...I did not dare reading the thing. Seeing his face...it was like my body couldn't take it. suddenly i am overwhelmed with this muddle of memories and emotions and thoughts and hurts and pain and anger....
I am totally drinking tonight. besides there's a meeting at turtle's.
I'll drink til I die.
HOW? WHY?
Why do I feel this way??????????????????????//
tell me. if you can.
FUCK.
