i feel no poetry in my heart, not even in my tongue. sweet sweet agony of my sad plight. teacher jokes about confusion of one's sexuality. Laughs about it. I do not breathe. I find no confusion, in me, in you, perhaps. Your eyes look like a girl's anyway. that's an indication. I watched the fellowship of the ring and yes it remains the best. My jeep cd player is back to give me some music in my solitude. How beautiful to see its yellow hide again. I am hungry now. My mind is stirring. I had better decide or find out what or how i want to do my art. I do not like the idea of james making the first "gay" show. I want my show to be the first show of its kind here in this very city. If his show does happen, what will they say about mine? tell me. obviously, they'd say it has something to do with my history with him, or something FOR him, or something i haven't gotten over with, and worst to all, an imitation. I do not deserve that. I do feel I deserve to be the first to do the show. besides, I'm 100% filipino and cebuano, born and raised in cebu and my blood is 100% filipino sad. hehehe. bitaw, i'm serious. And this is not a reflection of my oozing bravado, no, i feel it. in my skin. I owe it to people. I owe it to myself.
I wish he won't push through with it, or do something else nalang.
baba nam kewalam! hahahahaha.
