I went out today, I couldn't stand the house so I figured I'd get my hair cut. Mum needed to pay the pawnshop too so Ifigured I'd do that. The Pawnshop was in Ramos. Very near bigfoot. I wondered and looked at what probably was James' office. After I did that, I decided to go to the places where we used to go. I dunno why. I'm fucking fucked up. i don't know exactly what it'll do to me. I went to Ayala, walked around the business park, the towers where I said "I love you" for the first time, the corners, sbarro,mcdonald's,... i had my haircut at salon de rose. I missed him so badly. I miss him like hell, it's like torture.
Christmas is like 3 days away...why the hell does it have to be fucking special?
Because ever since I've realized there was a Christmas, it was always a symbol of hope....for better things...19 fucking years and now I'm scared of it...scared coz now it's more of a fucking reminder of how things will remain no matter what. Like my birthdays, Christmas has never happened to me without fucking up first or being fucked up.
I don't know what will happen but I do know how it's gonna be...fucked up.
I hope you all have better. Peace and Love.
