I find myself in a head that now has become all to deceiving. The cave looms above. The birds fly and turn to black. crows? no. red ones emerge from their tails. I can no longer tell, which is true and which is not. I cannot even identify things anymore. What was that? What is this? Who was that? Who is this? Can I be lost in that dream again? Or was it really just a dream? It was good. I hid. I dreamt. I felt safe. When/what/where/ is this/that? Dive with me.
That was very interesting. Did i feel free? or was it all an illusion? Did i lose myself? Maybe I did. yeah, I did. But knowing I lost myself into something I cannot really understand, what does that make me? i ask my hair and it refers me to the scalp. They say I must dig. dig into the city beneath. but no. I find no city. I listen. The cows moo in my fields, they moo for grass. No grass in my fields. Just rocks. the sun is red and my lips are dry. I look for water and find none in my well. Where is my pool? where is the cloud that says "here i come to quench your thirst!" Where are the rabbits that taught me how to swim in the air and eat carrots? Have I lost myself in this primeval forest? Is this not my home? Or do I have a home in the first place? Where is my home? the sharks smile at me, they say they're old and I'm young but I look old. they look at me, peering from inside the mirror. They swam with me before, in the skies. They taught me a lot of things. They taught me how to dance with the wind and sing with the waves. But they're old now. The chairs say they miss me. They miss my warmth on cold summer evenings when i looked out and did nothing else but think. and smile. Pearls, where are they? the ones I found when I was swimming with the sharks. Sometimes, I feel like I see them glisten in the fields. Some cows have died because of choking, eating pearls I vomitted. i saw a cow die once and asked the others how it happened. They said "it's the pearls, it's the pearls" ButI find none.Maybe they're hiding. the vastness of the sky greets me and tells me I'm small. The moon is on vacation. I miss our conversations. I miss the red truck. I used to travel with it before. It was faithful. But I sold it for nothing...When will I have my red truck back? will it remember me when it sees me? will it call my name and say "take me"?I miss kissing the wind. I miss the sound of the waves. I miss the bat that circles my head on the rooftop. I miss the sea. it calls. I tilt my head, and see an explosion in the skies...a lavishly impeccable arrogance.
grow up.
