It was the only thing I could think of, I found myself hit rock bottom again, and I just wanted to get out of there and think of something,something that will. I wasso sick and tired of being sick and tired of visiting that place again. I thought if I could make him and everything that came with him including people(my friends too) CEASE TO EXIST, I could actually get some peace, I could actually heal. I texted cris first, I didn't think I could do it, but I did. He replied. I ran out of load and thought maybe that was a sign that it was really what I should do. then I bumped into cris just a while ago and he said, "nice to meet you".
I am carrying this planet of guilt and regret right now. I should've just texted cris right away when I got the load and told him it was just a prank. Now I'm more psycho than ever. Nandamay pako ug tao. I know I was almost suicidal that time but still,I should've just hurt myself than an innocent friend. I'm just gone, so gone.
Psycho,manic-depressive, idiot, asshole, fuck-up, jerk.
Got any more bright ideas russ?
really, I just wanted to get out of there. I thought it was an idea,I thought it could actually work but OF COURSE IT WON'T.
after I texted cris, I saw myself lying down. astral projection. and the scariest night of my life began. that was like two or three days ago. I bumped into cris today. I bumped into him and realized once again I need professional help.
Anyway,I'd rather take back what I texted. I didn't think he'd take it seriously anyway, but he asked me where I was going.Then I couldn't do anything about it for like 5-6 hours. and after that, I didn't do anything.I'm better off dead.
