Hello everyone. this is weird. I've advertised my blog again. I do not actually know the purpose of this public utterance which is, primordially personal and private but I do it nonetheless, for whatever purpose, well what I can think of now is that this is a documentation of my existence and it is rather imperative that peopple should know that I have such, knowing and accepting all my flaws OR affects even to my very narcissism. I have no reason to think however that i am in dire need of attention, at least not from the general public. maybe, this is also an act of redemption, the redemption of my name as an individual to another, a specific other.
The semester has ended and along with it my produce of art. I'm inclined to say that i am happy with my work, I have begun to let go of the boundaries I have placed upon myself , especially on the act of creation and let me say that it is worth it. Life is the same but it is life and it is relatively good. yesterday or the day before yesterday was my 20th birthday, and i was both surprised and the contrary because it was almost exactly like my other birthdays in the past years EXCEPT for the presence and the absence of both new and old individuals who have taken hold of me, either romantically, erotically(is there such a word?), or in the manner of friendship, and even in the manner of memory and unreciprocated love, a connection only I have for another but is not necessarily experienced by both parties. On the matter of religion, I still have not found a ready source of scripture from any divine book or law, however, religion has gave me a way to commune with GOd in a way that is not condemning and totally healthy, a way that is of hope and not of expectation, realisitic living and not cynical survival. there is also a rather strange and new activity happening in the confines of my brain, one that is involuntarily causing me sensitivity to the opposite sex much more than i have ever been, of course the beautiful male is still a daily consumed product in both my lives of fantasy and the real but I seem to be more aware of the presence of the female body and soul than I was with men. Strange but not bad. I am sleepy. Super perfundo on the early eve of your days.
