the funny nervous wreck I am, twitching eyes, pimpled face and all...

It seems like this whole workshop thing is really affecting my health. Yes, my eye is twitching as of the moment and my face has all but become a replica of the moon, craters and all. Results of the workshop haven't come out, the reason for all this imbalance. My mental construct is beginning to shake. Sigh. There isn't really anything calm and stable that's happening in my being, I feel like I'm in the middle of another radical change, I hope it's not religious and I hope it doesn't hurt either, unlike its predecessors that either took my dreams, my heart, or my spirit away. Hohum. I really don't know what's gonna happen, It's like I'm shortsighted to the future, I used to have these mental images of how the next day or the next week or the next month is gonna be but now I have absolutely no idea at all. And it is scary when i think about what's happening now and what's gonna happen next. I have school to think about and my career thereafter, Jay and I are getting "complicated", james and I are starting to text again, my sister's moral dillema, my family's hyperchristianism, my own spiritual/philosophical development, the houses creepy hauntedness, Chad's miseducation, and so on and so forth. Things are happening or beginning to happen, and they cannot be unmoved. Worst thing is, I don't even know what I want to happen or what I should want,and the question of will it be the right thing or not. Hew. My heart's pounding like hooves in a stampede. I am nervous. I am anxious. I am worried. But I am still good. The waves are getting choppy and my boat isn't sinking soon. Super perfundo!