WARNING! FIT OF ANGER UP AHEAD. Ma checked my garbage. This is no longer a question of morality or immorality. This is about my soul, chained by her words, burned by her stare, drowned by her tears. I need to get out of this house. I need to get-- find my own, MY OWN, place. i cannot live with this unfreedom exactly where i live. This betrayal of my existence. I cannot live like this. I need to get out. I am ready to ignore all conformities and judgments, I am ready to risk my very face and blood. I want freedom, that's what I want. I do not want to box in my existence, all the more have somebody else box it.
FIT OF ANGER HAS ENDED.
Dont' get me wrong. I love my mother. I just need to get out and forget, as sir munds would say, forget, clear my mind, so art can visit me. No visitor would want to get inside a house of turmoil.
I've been listening to beethoven mozart and bach for the last 5 days. No words, just music. Like my blog, i've been quiet for a while. SOmetimes, you need to just live life to enjoy it coz if you document, you're a step away from existence. yesterday i bumped into chai, she asked me where i was, I answered with an old joke of mine, I said I was right where I was standing at that present time. Then I said I existed like how I exist now. People sometimes, forget about the gift of existence, they look at it as a problem.."where do we come from?" "where are we going?" "what on earth am i here for?". Existence is what it is, existence. Isn't it enough that you're alive?
