Yesterday:
I surprised myself when I woke up quite well. I endured the usual hour and half of natural science 2 then had lunch with chai and liyo. We hung out in the relocated campus canteen then went our separate ways. I went to class and suffered a sermon from my teacher that was not for me. After that, I met up with James, I was to trade my porn for dvd's.
We talked in the cafe for a while. Bo's doesn't look like a real cafe by the way. I told James I wanted to go to those cafes in Paris with old chairs and without the air-conditioning. we walked around the mall and I felt generally ok. I could breathe once again being with him, it's been a while since I actually had fun being around him. We ate dinner at sbarro's, I could only afford half a spaghetti order.
He wanted to watch a movie coz he was gonna wait for his sister and go home with her...I didn't have enough to spend anymore...
He said he was gonna pay for me...he didn't want to be alone he said...I felt the same thing.
after the movie, we waited for his sister. I went home. I prayed that nothing bad will come out of our meeting, that it will not huant me, that it will not bring back past frustrations and hysteria.
I couldn't sleep. I surfed the net, searched for some porn, and registered myself at outpresonals.com, sort of like a gay friendster. Jerked off and decided to try sleeping after taking a dump and texting James.
Before I woke up at noon...I dreamt I went to that hometown province of my pa again...recurring images...there was a celebration...Vera was there and Chastity and some other unidentified friends...Ma was there. When all was ready and the party started...James came. He found me and stayed with me. we walked around the dance floor, he would hug me once in a while and hold my hand. I could vera see and chasty's face light up and smile...they were happy for me...then we left...
we were now naked in my room and started caressing each other...I was kissing his body and his nipples when he said "nudge it then lick it" and as I was about to do that...
the wind chimes woke me up. Crap.
That counts as one of the most disturbing waking up's I've had. This day was over when it started. God help me today.
