I guess I do not have much to offer but memory. I would've wanted to hear the "kumusta?" if only it didn't come from someone who assumed and judged my life a fake one, if it came from someone standing inside a train or someone sleeping on a field with a Croat, sharing poetry. I would ask you to come and see my show but I know you wouldn't so much admit that I was your son. I would give you the biggest hug if you hadn't tried to keep me from living, stopping every possible "threat" YOU saw coming. I would have stayed your friend if you hadn't texted only for money and never as a friend. I would have been happier for you if you hadn't spilled you brains and your heart out to a fat talented bitch. I could've done better if you just told me. I should have forgotten everything else but not what you wanted to hear. There isn't much time, the days are too short, people are too fast, I saw an American's head sliced off by a terrorist. Sliced. I heard him taking the pain. I heard the blood on his throat. I saw the the black redness spread on the floor. I saw them poking at your head. I wondered how your mother felt when she saw that or if she ever saw that at all. So I guess I was wrong, I guess Brian should have married Michael. I guess the sun has three personalities and the moon, two. I should have believed in most things than just one. I could have learned...more. I guess getting sick isn't all that bad, and maybe this is what I wanted. So, with much regret, thank you. The shadows keep the colors and the colors keep me.
